My Sweat and Blood

So I figured may be I should document some of my sweat and blood from studio, just to track what I have been selling my soul to. Looking back at it now, I really don't know why I spent so much time on such little things. Though I have to say, those projects reflects when I was doing "ok" in class, compared to now where I am quite behind and stuck. Somehow designing has been more pain in the butt lately than anything. However, after watching a video intently in ethics (without falling asleep since I actually got enough sleep for monday, for once, feeling much smarter today~) on the creative emergence of the universe, I felt much better.

The basic idea of the video is where the universe is this mass of creativity, where it has an urge to break through points of tension with creative solutions, thus the "emergence" part. Such "emergences" are when the first star was created, the element carbon, earth, eukaryotes, etc. The scientist / philosopher in the video brought up an example where the cells, in dealing with the massive amounts of Oxygen left behind by pulling Hydrogen form H2O, struggle and suffered millions of yrs before becoming eukaryotes. This "deep, deep ignorance and profound confusion" is essential to the breaking point, which then shows that the universe "loves ambiguity, and embraces the situation" in order to surpass it with creativity. That is where I feel I am right now, for the past two studios, this profound, ambiguous, ignorant situation in which I must embrace.

In short, I am stuck, but must plow through it yet again. Chances are, during the summer, I will see how foolish the whole problem has been and wonder why I was stuck for so long. That can only mean two things: one, I lack sleep and anything good to my health and brain during the semester and have too much on my plate. Two, I have learned something from that point in time. Preferably the latter one.